I woke up slowly this morning. I’ve worked to make the morning after therapy a time for gentleness for Lara . Today was a blessing, a much needed blessing.
I woke slowly , then with a start as I realised something was different, weird , odd, not as it usually is. I checked myself bodily and mentally and then it dawned on me what was odd……
The usual feeling of trauma, tight knotted stomach, heart beating fast , was not there! I checked again almost causing myself to panic because the feeling of peace as I woke was so unfamiliar. But I stayed in the place in this feeling of peace , and as I sat with it, remembering that it is possible to feel like this , I realised that something else was as missing…. the heaviness, the sadness ….. again I was filled with a most unfamiliar but not totally alien feeling…. a joy to be alive and breathing, a happiness to exist .
Slowly I begin to remember what happened in my Therapy session the day before . I remember waking up the day before , crying, filled with tears but no immediate reason why , sad and useless and kind of empty. I dragged myself up and out to see Sandra , was 10 mins early so sat and sobbed on the curb , still not knowing or actually caring why.
Once I was inside her room I still couldn’t stop crying and so we went straight in , AIT style hands on each chakra saying a statement and releasing the energetic charge of the statement through each of my chakras the statement was all the trauma and sadness.
We did the releasing twice and then I felt into myself and observed what came up.
Me , in a see through bubble, not really breathing or connecting , bouncing off the sides whenever I moved towards anything not In my bubble. We went round again and I felt the bubbles grey thickness begin to move , its consistency like paper mache that we used to make at school with the weird shiny see through loo roll. Grey and gloopy. Then I see me again , this time running, with a precious bundle in my arms . I don’t want to dove deep in here, I just know that that piece of me is free and so is her precious bundle and for me now that is enough!
I’m still wobbly but I’m not crying anymore and there is a feeling of joy which was not there before. I say to Sandra
“I would like to help myself become more than the mass of my experiences so far , I would like to fully be able to create my reality from a place of peace Love and Joy . “
She smiles her Angel smile at me and shows me
It’s called ‘You are the Placebo’ I’ve come into contact with it before, a woman I was a carer for used to get me to put the meditations on for her as I was massaging her hands and feet .
I could only remember it as good but with no details. So here are the details!
Here is the link to the meditation which is about 40mins.
The structure is:
A kind of body scan focusing on the spaces in and around/beyond your body
Becoming no-person, no-place, no-time – more wave than particle: open to possibility
Focus on a perception/belief you want to change and imagining the new state
Feeling gratitude as if it has already happened.
The place I came to because of this mediation is a place that I had forgotten. This place of peace is my original state . This upswell of Joy and Love is my birthright, as a Piece of Creation creating within creation! Wow!
Check it out , try it for yourselves and let me know how it works for you! There are no wrong answers! I just love hearing from you all! We are all in this together and what one of us can do all of us can do! Xxxlovelaraxxx