Pregnancy Recipes

Eating for Two

I will be adding pregnancy recipes here, feel free to add your own!

Recipes for pregnancy

Mineral Supplements

Calcium Stew - This is an alternative to calcium supplements. Pregnant women need to take up to 1000mg of calcium per day. Here’s a natural, lactose-free, vegan method to ensure you are getting enough calcium. Ingredients ¼ tsp Slippery elm powder ¼ tsp Borage ¼ tsp Comfrey leaves ¼ tsp Oat straw Method Add one cup boiling water […]
Iron tea - Up your Iron intake naturally This is an alternative to iron supplements. Drink daily for iron maintenance. Eat extra lemons & spinach (for vitamin c & folic acid) for persistent anaemia. Ingredients ¼ tsp yellow dock root ¼ tsp Nettles ¼ tsp Raspberry leaves ¼ tsp Comfrey leaf Method Add one cup of boiling water […]

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Arghhhhh!

March 9th, 2019 by FairyDoula

It’s Angel Benjammins death day on Tuesday and birthday on Wednesday not sure brain can do the website thing this week so here’s the writing anyway ! Arghhhhhhh! Any extra love fully appreciated! Xxxlovelaraxxx

Emotion Perception Trauma Connection. This week I have not been the best version of myself, or have I ? This week I did not ‘Hold it down ‘ This week I ‘Lost it.’ What do I do when this happens ? I shout , I yell , I fight to be heard . I basically do everything possible to make sure what I really want to say has no chance of getting heard above shouting me. My nerves are raw and most of my mind body and soul seems to be screaming getoutgetoutgetout! How I feel is how I feel , what I perceive is what I perceive. Or is it? Therapy so far has made me aware of trauma based reactions in my thinking processes . It’s possible that what I think I’m seeing and feeling is not my actual reality but something my trauma has overlayed on what’s actually happening. Still with me ? The thought and possibly of this reality stretches my brain so it feels a bit like silly putty. It’s not comfortable and stable. It’s moving and moulding new structures , it’s questioning what I’ve always known to be true . Is it possible that I am loved and supported and that I can trust that I will always get what I need in the perfect time in the perfect way. Is it possible that the experiences of the past that have lead me to believe that life is not trustworthy and that I am to be abandoned because of my badness ,could be released from my Mind Body and Soul. The arguments and violence negativity and separation all feel so familiar. Even if the feelings aren’t pleasant at least they are familiar. And this is what I am working on releasing ! Releasing the long held beliefs of my badness and wrongness, my craziness my madness. Taking a step back when shouting happens in me or someone else . Stopping and breathing, walking away and allowing tensions to relax , peace to settle, before any other communications commence. Really noticing how I feel and taking the time to be kind to myself when I freak out . Trusting the people I have around me are willing and able to hold me safe while I reconnect my Mind Body and Soul , clearing out the out moded programs and stories , making space so I can reveal myself to myself and create my reality for me . I’m not the easiest person to live with and love at the moment. My oldest friends tell me that I never have been and they love all of me no matter what , so I keep this truth at the core of me and no matter how ‘High Maintainence ‘ I am presenting as I trust and believe that ( I tap my sternum whilst I say this )

“Even tho , I still lose my temper and react in ways that I do not feel at peace with, I still , truely and deeply , Love Honour , Cherish and Respect Myself. All parts of myself, including my totally justified anger and rage . And I ask for help in healing , And I give thanks that it is happening. “

And when it’s still hard and I’m crying and confused I hold my head back and front and I say ,

“There is. A part of me , that knows how to release all this Anger and Rage . All it’s , roots and all it’s connections to my soul in all lives and times. This part of me it informing the rest of me now , and it’s doing it with ease and grace . Information download complete!”

The work in progress , my conscious mind , the clearing out of the trauma barriers and blockages between it’s connection to my Body and Soul Is heavy hard going work with moments of majesty and whole eternities of hellish terror. It’s all in my mind . And now I see it , up front , no frills , bare raw pain trauma and terror , dampened down for a lifetime to fit into an idea of what I am. I see it and with a courageous heart I step into the little known. I peel back the layers of my onion to find that core of Peace Love and Joy inside me and together we celebrate as we sort out the rubbish , ready to compost what I don’t need anymore to feed the small saplings of my newly found self . Xxxlovelaraxxx

Posted in Lara's blog

Rust Conversion

March 2nd, 2019 by FairyDoula

Rust conversion

I’m manifesting a floating home out of others castoffs and generosity. It’s not easy ! Especially whilst going deep into my self with 6 months energetic therapy ! Last week someone whose known me awhile told me that if all the good I’d already done in the world came back to me all at once this is what it would look like . So great to have someone’s outside eye on my being, because from inside my head ,me doing good has always been me doing stuff so I won’t be abandoned, so people will accept me , so I will be allowed to exist even though I am so so so so so bad , wrong and terrible! Hang on ! My extra bit of brain calls to me . Look around you again, see the help that you are receiving, see the support around you . This is the support that someone needs if they are going to drag themselves up out of the depths of grief and trauma. I have been cleaning the front deck , entrance to the Love Boat , this morning. There is dust and sawdust , flakes of paint , mud and rust. I know I have to sweep and clean it all back then chip off any flakes of rust and sand it off. Then I can paint on the rust converter which will stop the rust going in deeper by literally changing the oxidising of the metal into rust ! It’s brilliant stuff ! And as I chip away at the old bits of rust and mud and moss I realise that the process of my therapy is very much the same . I’ve been covering up my rusty bits and ignoring them for as long as I can remember. I believed that these bits were in me because I was inherently bad and I deserved the pain and terror I have felt , just living a ‘normal ‘ life . I believed it was all my fault and that I was damaged, disordered and broken . Bless Angel Benjammin for showing me that life is more than just damping down and fronting up! Thanks be to him and all my awesome family and friends who held me fast to this life and refused to let me go . They knew I was supposed to be here , they could see me underneath the rust and the dirt of my life experiences. They shouted loud enough so even me, so disassociated and half in the land of the dead with my baby , could still hear them . They all , and their Love were the dustpan and brush that swept the wreckage of my fake life away. Their love and support helped me to see that many of my brains processes were damaged and some totally broken . Together with MEET , Sandra and my awesome Angel gang, Angel Benjammin, Billie Rose , Nanna Ivy , Granny Ethel and Ben I have been chipping away at the gathering moss and rust , I have been wiping clean the surroundings and creating a clean smooth surface for converting the last remaining bits of rust . Interestingly when I’ve painted the rust converter on not all the surfaces are smooth anymore. The straight edges of the angle iron are a bit wobbly now . There are pits and patterns in the metal , forming shapes and patterns. But now the rust is no longer penetrating deeper . It has stopped and is now a memory as I look at the patterns that it’s process has left . It’s obvious that there has been rust , and even as I paint onto the pitted now blue metal l know that if I ignore any rust bits they will finally eat through the hull and sink me ! So this is me cleaning, sweeping, washing , converting and painting. Being relentless with my attention to bringing out any old dirt and moss , knowing that a thorough job now will give me a really firm foundation to build on and a deep physical energetic knowledge that where I am is firm and clear and real . It’s obvious to me, we in this paradigm of the last 2000 years have suffered trauma and been eaten away . Now we have the opportunity to clean back all that we have ignored and covered up . Now, we have the chance to glorify in the patterns we have gathered. To shine them up , paint them brightly and be proud of our process! Xxxlovelaraxxx

Posted in Lara's blog

Pain, less

February 20th, 2019 by FairyDoula

Pain , less I’m having strange waking experiences, my morning mourning has changed shape . Mentally I’m still wrestling with the concept that anything has been amiss these last 4 disassociated years . Especially as now some of these ways of being that I am so used to have now begun to be conspicuous by their absence. The feelings I am feeling are relaxing to my body and mind . I feel the sun on my face and I am actually happy and thankful to be alive . I think it , I feel it , I am living it . “Yeah yeah Lara “, my harsh brain tuts at me , “Just like everyone else , what’s the big fuss , just get on and stop being so melodramatic.” Then I do something new , something I would never dare to do in my life before Angel Benjammin and Energetic Therapy . “THANKYOU!” I say to my harsh critic , I bring her in closer , I mentally hug her and accept her where she is . “ It’s ok to feel this stuff now , you don’t have to keep me safe , it’s the right time for feeling emotions now , I’m safe , I’m supported and I can cope . THANKYOU for keeping me safe when I could not cope , THANKYOU for holding me when the world was dangerous and all around me were dangerous people . Right now I am safe and right now it’s time to feel . So let’s hold hands and feel together.” I mentally take the hand of my loyal soldier , I accept her as part of me and together we explore how it feels to be Lara , waking up in 2019 . It’s gentle, my stomach is soft , no rigid terror clamps my baby empty middle, no grey sadness muddies my mind . I’m warm and safe , I know because it smells and sounds safe and no one is grabbing or dragging me .Just this is enough to spark off a thought of “ This is unusual, this feels strange ….” However instead of this thought spiralling into panic , I sit with it , I feel deeper and revel in the softness , the warm ness , the whole body mind soul feelingness. I’m reminded of my therapy session the day before and then remember what we worked on . Most people who have known me for this last 7 year cycle would assume that the big Traumatic event in my life that I need help to process would be the stillbirth of Angel Benjammin at 38 weeks and bleeding to death afterward. However this is not so . Angel Benjammins Birth was a gift . The extremeness of the event drew my family and friends towards me and opened a tiny hole , cracked a tiny chip into the blackness and darkness that had covered me for as long as I can remember. Once, I was happy and free , at some point my experiences taught me that I was bad and that I deserved badness because I was bad and my badness was responsible for all the badness I experience. Logically this is obviously not true , however the rules we make for ourselves when we are making sense of the world make sense at the time and later on we just forget that we ever made that decision. And logic did not make these rules , trauma and fear did! I and many other people I have met and spoken with are aware that within our minds is a harsh critic, a sergeant major , a loyal soldier , keeping us on the straight and narrow , making sure we do not behave in a way that will get us punished , hurt , abandoned or beaten again. So here we are , just circling again and again, within triggered trauma reactions to others behaviours. Always right but always ending in a loveless, sad, possibly violent confusion . Reset , it takes courage , it takes persistence, maybe life has to get so bad that there is no other choice but to change . Example , your baby is dead and pretty soon if you don’t let someone help you you are gonna bleed to death! Extreme , but that’s what it took , that is what finally cracked open my hard shell that had disassociated me from my feelings and me mattering for so long . And that black hard shell was what we observed ,changed and let go in therapy this Tuesday morning. . AIT is an energetic therapy , Alternative Intergrative Therapy is it’s science name , I call it the Chakra clearing one . I say a statement whilst holding one hand where I feel the statement the most , in this instance in my centre Pelvis energy centre , the other hand starts at the top of my head Crown energy centre and as I say the statement I breathe and release any energy residue out and down thru my body . This time the statement was “The belief that I am bad and I deserve bad things “ I say the statement breathe in and out 3 times , feel what comes up then move my hand down to my next energy centre ,on my forehead then repeat the statement , breathe, release, observe, then The Chin, Throat , Heart , left Heart , right Heart, Solar Plexus , centre Pelvis, right Pelvis , left Pelvis , Root front and Root behind . Then I place my hands in my lap and I observe what comes up . When I first did AIT on the trauma surrounding Angel Benjammins Birth I was surprised how separated from feeling I felt , I could see myself in a bubble but I was ok , just I observing my situation not touched by feeling , then as we explored and found my shell and its roots then I began to feel . My Angel gang Angel Benjammin, Billie Rose , Ben , Nanna Ivy And Granny Ethel all moved in close , they helped me stay in my body and experience and release these feelings and the buried experiences that caused my belief in my own badness and my thought that I deserved no help . An hour passed in what seemed like 5 minutes but also my whole life played out and reset itself , we had been in a truly timeless moment. And this morning I awoke , with no pain and no terror . I am waking up from my disassociated existence and beginning to truly feel and be alive once again! Gentle joy and peaceful existence is now possible. So gently does it , Me feeling, is new , but I like it and I intend to do more ! Blessed I am ! I send this out to us all . Our time is now and our feelings matter . Be brave try something new , you never know you might finally start to know what it feels like to be free instead if just wishing it!!!! Big big love! You are AMAZING! Xxxlovelaraxxx

Posted in Lara's blog

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Pregnancy Recipes

Eating for Two

Recipes for pregnancy

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