Healthy Healing . Holding and hearing!

Written by FairyDoula. Posted in Lara's blog

So here I am a week after the beautiful birth of a wild free baby . I’m the capable support and older , calmer , competent cook , driver , cleaner and sorter. I’m there to let the Mum and Dad relax into their Connection and relationship with their Son. I do the little everyday stuff that will be happening the same for the next few years like , washing up, bin emptying, recycling, laundry, tidying up , shopping, driving etc. I’m not here because the family can’t do it themselves, I’m here so they can focus on the beginning of their baby’s life and learn how to communicate and cooperate, with each other surfing and growing the massive rush of Oxytocin that they all felt as the baby was born.

It’s a brilliant invisible and fully seen job. It’s a job for a person who knows their worth but also is humble enough to know that they are just doing what needs to be done and that these jobs could be done by anyone. The best thing to hear is when the family state that they are doing it themselves! The worst is when they say that they couldn’t have done it without you! Amazing, invisible and easily replaceable is how I love to be ! What I do is not rocket science , just practical love-filled everyday magic.

I’m glad to be able to do this part of my birth assistant job just before I start this winters therapy proper. It reminds me of my skills and my Souls purpose. It also reminds me that I am brave and courageous and that I can do many things , so healing myself is definitely a possibility!!!!

This week my session was mostly about dropping energetic charges from the abusive relationship I was in in my twenties and thirties. We used kinesiology muscle testing to pinpoint the emotions that needed release and then utilised Anne Jensens  HeartSpeak to actually move them on. The feeling of needing to fight was felt ,released and then balanced by knowing . Then my feeling of sadness we searched for felt and balanced with peace . It’s such an amazing thing to feel the feelings and not connect them to any one story . To allow the feelings to actually be felt and to then let the balancing feeling grow until all is well and balanced.

Once we had done this process I felt I needed to make my emotional boundary with my old partner strong so I visualised my amazing golden sparkling bubble and I tapped the side of my hand until it was very strong. I felt very calm and empowered and I knew what I needed to do next . I needed to clear the residue of all of this from my chakras, I told Sandra this and she agreed gently supporting me as I gave birth to my own mental and physical healing process. I’m not gonna detail my process here but what I do offer is an exerpt from my new novel ‘The Story‘ which is a book set in 2118bc with a girl called Sha-la and in 2118ad with a girl called Sophie , the book follows Sha-la in the past as she readies herself for her First Imbolc Full Moon egg ritual, and Sophie in the future as she heals herself from the terrors of the ‘ one true god industry’ . The book is written in the style of Dion Fourtune, where the reader becomes the characters so Experiences the healings and evolutions as and alongside the characters at the same time.

Sophie lay awake knowing that sunrise was still a while away. She rose from her sleeping place in the Red Tent and walked to the opening in the scarves that lead to the outside world. She gently parted the scarves and allowed herself to walk naked outside into the nearly full moon starlit night. The warm night Air kissed her skin, mixed with the twinkling of the stars so Sophies whole body reaction was one of physical excitement and stimulation. She observed herself, feeling her feelings and feeling her body‘s reaction to the warmth and wetness of the rolling mists rising around her . Sophie smiled at herself , ‘feeling’ ,she was no longer shocked and astonished that she had feelings, however she was now in a place of gentle amusement that it ever been possible for her to have to have existed without feeling. As she let her hands stroke her skin she marvelled at the gentle electric shocks of skin touching skin and let this new gentle form of contact open her Heart and Mind. For a second all was bliss and beauty , then she was there, hands holding her down, the bright lights, the pain…..

It was different now, she saw the situation, and knew it for past memory, not present experience and breathed her Mind once more into the present. Sophie felt her body and realised that her new ‘feelings’ held the key to her being able to clear this past memory ‘present invader’ She moved her hands once more over her pelvis filling her hands and mind with as much soft and gentleness as she could , her body jerked and her mind began to jerk too , but, she stayed in this Here and Now with her Mind and now only her body was in the physically held past. Sophie placed one of her hands on her pelvis and the other one above her head, where the Angel said her crown energy wheel sits . She formulated the statement in her mind.

“All the ways that I have been invaded, used and abused.”

She said it out loud and then breathed in and out through her Roots then her Branches , then her Heart. Three times seemed good and felt right, so Sophie continued down the Rainbow Energy Wheels of her body, Crown, Brow, Chin , Throat, Heart left and right, Solar Plexus, Centre Pelvis , Left and Right Pelvis , Root front and back. At each energy centre she paused and felt the old held terror energy begin to move. At her throat she felt to yawn loads and was reminded that the Sacred Breaths Are The Yawn , the Burp the Laugh , the fart and the Sigh. At her heart she felt strong pains like broken bones and felt sick as they ached . As her hands came close to her Pelvis Centre she felt a deep terror come over her. Silently calling for help to her Angel , Sophie continued.

“All the ways I have been invaded used and abused.”

The blackball of terror , lodged so long in her Pelvis bloped and burped and began to move somewhere else. She breathed deep and allowed ‘that which does not serve ‘ to leave. Immediately her body convulsed in spasms of heaving. Sophie spewed everything out, leaving a black tarry mess on the grass. She stood up and gathered herself in once more, her attention now on the Left and Right sides of her Pelvis. She said her statement, breathed and then observed what came up. The unfathomable darkness and endless nothingness, emptied and filled her pelvis. In one breath in, she felt all that had ever been felt and held there. In the next breath out all was released, leaving a clear empty space. Sophie fought to keep her mind on her healing mission, breathing in the light from Her Crown and Roots and breathing out all that doesn’t serve. She called herself inwards to stay close and gradually filled the empty space with Light and Breath. Sophie realised that she was now sitting down and that the pile of shiny slime had now soaked into the dew covered Earth. She sat marvelling in her newly learned skills and then from behind her she heard the Angels voice, soaring and peeking like the beautiful Birds in subtle sunrise light. This is Heaven. Sophie thought to herself .This is Now where I only feel the emotions and feelings of Now. This body whose only memory is this Sunrise, is Mine !

The Angel’s voice toned and intoned until Sophie could almost see the Golden Bubble all around, her .As she finished singing Jo-anne chimed her finger symbols and gently Sophie once again felt her own body in the Here and Now.

“Well done lovely one!” Joanne nodded towards Sophie. “ I see you have been practising the Chakra Energy Release Technique I showed you. Your colours look much clearer than they did yesterday. “Yes.” replied Sophie.

“I’m beginning to recognise what is Me and what is stored memory. It is very interesting and confusing.”

I’d love to hear your opinions and experiences with the book and the healing processes. Please contact me and together we will all  heal from our collective and individual  pasts and then on clear sturdy foundations we will begin to create a new future for the next 7 generations ! Xxxlovelaraxxx

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