Angel Benjamin – Lara’s story

Written by FairyDoula. Posted in Birthing Stories

It’s a rainbow! A multi coloured birth story, filled with beauty and awe-inspiring majesty.

Baby Angel Benjamin Love, the creation of fairy love, fairy loving of joy of life. A blessing in my 40th year An excuse to rest, eat, be, love myself and appreciate how wonderful being alive is. Also, he was the colander that sorted my real true loves. Friends from the freeloaders and power-grabbers. Something I am useless at myself.

On Sunday 9th march, 37 weeks pregnant, we discovered that Benjamin’s heart had stopped beating. A condition where the baby takes on water until the heart can no longer support it. No way out, just a thing that happens. I am glad that I was blissfully unaware and so joyfully pregnant throughout his whole existence.

On the 13th march, I gave birth, surrounded by best friends Josie and Coral, husband Jim, Mum, Dad, my sister Holly, my son Jake and midwife sisters Joy and Meg. Some extra hormones in my fanny to start things off and really soon my waters began to flow. I relaxed and danced, kissed and cuddled, and soon I was needing to rock. I was fearful, the acupuncture lady gave me a tiara of relaxation and I smiled .

I got some stuff to make me poo cos I figured that a clear path for my babe was best, seeing as he wouldn’t be able to help with his body to be born. I got more focused really quickly , rocking, dancing, swaying, loving, being loved in a big bubble of love and light.

I needed to poo and did. I looked at my fanny with a mirror and could see it was opening. My body moved inside. My normal brain said “I need a poo”. My goddess brain said ” I’m birthing a baby now!”

I was up on the bed leaning over the back, kneeling, squatting, stretching. Feeling my body move! Amazing! Bones, muscles, hormones, breath, amazing!

Classically my normal brain said “I can’t do this anymore”, so did my mouth, I’m told . I don’t know. I had gone from physical thought and was now in physical feeling, knowing that my body was in charge and could definately birth my baby.

Chinese burns on my bits… Yes here he comes! Legs first then balls! “Lara he’s got big balls !” shouts my brilliant boy Jake. Breathe deep, relax, hold the space of sensation and experience in a joyful rainbow bubble. Breathe. Be. Feeling myself flower and open slowly and deliberately to birth my son’s belly and arms into the world. Breathe. Relax, float on rainbows of lush joy, distant, sleepy, then waking up to the Chinese burns again! This is it, this is his head, here he is, open, open, open… Relax.

There is a space now where the baby was a moment before. I’m cuddled and held, I breathe. I wail…

I think the wailing was good! It was still hurting and the placenta came, then still my womb was murder! Doing its best to close down, filled with about 8 pints of blood clots. I may be pretty hardcore, but this definately needed assistance! All the way! Drips, pills, injections, masks, crazy massage inside and out, grabbing, scraping… Crazy shit!!!!!

I woke up later, alive!!!! Pretty weak and confused, but alive, and surrounded by love from so many angles. All I could do was accept and learn!!

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return.”

xxx

The V. Short Pregnancy Guide

Written by FairyDoula. Posted in Birthing Stories, Uncategorized

(Written to Calm, Relax & Reassure! Honest!)

Being pregnant – lets be honest! Is very strange! O.k. maybe not all the time but on average mostly you feel very different. More different than you’ve ever felt before!!

Tired? Irritable? – Eating fresh raw foods in small amounts. Seeds bean sprouts, dried fruit – raises your blood sugar then irritations with people & stuff melt away! Honest!

Feeling nauseous? Steer clear of fags & booze!! Drink ginger tea /beer!!

Confused at your inability to “hold it down?” the extra hormones you get on your period (y’know the ones that make you irrational, psychotic, weepy etc) you get the same ones when you’re preggers only 80 % more! Your chemical make up has changed by ¾!!!! No wonder you feel different!!

Lying / Bathing quietly in the sun & water for an hour a day allows your brain & body to relax into this totally new state of being- Maiden to Mother, Flower to Fruit etc!!

Stiff? Full of achy bits? Your body’s ligaments & tendons soften during pregnancy so that your pelvis can tilt & make the birth canal a straight run for easy birthing!

That’s about it for the first three months (trimester).

In the middle 3 months you usually settle into pregnant life, being amazed at your abilities of taste & smell & sleeping!! You could have a renewed burst of energy & confidence as you see you’re your body start to change no longer do you just feel preggers now you’re starting to look it! Rubbing nut kernel oil onto stretchy bits makes it less likely that you’ll get stretch marks! Walking helps you exercise the calf & thigh muscles needed for physical active labor!

The third trimester 6-9 months is pretty good. The home strait! You feel pregnant, you look pregnant! Comfy seats, free food, shopping carriers, breakfast in bed, pampering, massages, etc. all these things & more are yours to command!!! So surround yourself with people who recognise that you are doing the best job in the world so that they treat you & your bump accordingly!

Drinking Raspberry leaf tea strengthens your uterine muscles so that they are able to squeeze out your baby! Tastes good too!!

Basically, thinking & planning how you want to feel & where you want to give birth, who you want to be with you & most importantly how you want to walk across the bridge from pregnancy to motherhood will ensure & empower you to give birth in the way that you know you can!!

“It’s called labour because it’s hard work!!”

Frankie’s Story

Written by FairyDoula. Posted in Birthing Stories

Frankie Benjy & Odins story

Born on Friday 11/02/05 at 4.57am in the barn at Windmill Down Farm Totnes. Present at the birth were me – Frankie Bramall (the mother), Benjy Eriksson (the father), my mum Judy, my friend & spiritual midwife Lara, the principle midwife Jan & the secondary midwife Alison.

On Tuesday 8th Feb went to hospital with Mum & Benjy. Silly consultant ignored the fact that we knew what date we conceived & took the due date from the scan & said that we would have to be induced the following Monday 14th Feb! I was quite upset. Went into town with mum & met up with Lara & Mo. Hung out for a bit – had coffee- did some shopping- really great to see Lara . She bought some fireworks & we walked up the track.

This Tuesday was Pancake Day & Chinese New Year of the rooster (Phoenix) we had pancakes with spinach & Feta & honey & lemon. Then we built a fire outside Lara did a fireshow & we let off all of the fireworks, it was a real celebration. I felt much happier!

Wednesday- went to town & regretted it. Everyone was asking if I’d had the baby yet – felt pressurised – spoke to the midwife on the phone & told her that I wasn’t going to hospital – no way! In the evening I took Caulophyllum in the hope that it would bring labor on.

Thursday Lara & Mum went to town & I sent Benjy off to get me some castor oil. I just chilled at home. When Benjy got back from town I was really needing a poo. I went to the toilet & did quite a runny poo ( this was before I’d taken the castor oil & was a relief as I had been quite constipated the last few weeks of my pregnancy) I’d cleaned my bum but wiped it again & some snotty stuff was on the tissue. I took it to show mum & Lara & they said it was my mucus plug – a show- I was so happy. I told Benjy & he seemed to relax instantly & was very chuffed. He rang his family to tell them. I think this was about 4pm. Then I had some castor oil.

I was getting small pains in my lower tummy & back (hooray!) had another good poo ( or was it two?) Later Lara gave me some tea ( Blue Cohash . Chamomile & lime flowers) Not long after that my waters broke (about 11pm) luckily mostly in a bucket & Benjy was witness!  Then contractions were starting to get more real & Lara was making more tea (Blue cohash, feverfew & sage) Hooray! I was so excited! Just before waters broke I’d been lying on my birthing ball & Benjy put some reggae on (Soul Rebel – Odins Song!) & I honestly felt like I’d had about ten ecstasy pills – really chilling & happy on an oxcytocin high!

Think I did a poo in a bowl just before my waters broke & mum emptied it for me – nice one mum!

First part of labor was really chilled. Think I had a bath (I think I had 3 baths over the course of the night) it was just me & Benjy in the Barn with Mum coming in a bit & Lara bringing the tea! Benjy was putting his weight (hand) on my lower back during contractions & it was really helping & he was timing them. They were very short but close together. Had rescue Remedy & nice music! Contractions getting more intense & I had some more waters come out. After that Benjy got Mum & Lara from the truck & they came in the barn. I was trying to visualise flowers opening. It was all getting a lot more intense & painful. Kept getting too hot or too cold & asking for the door to be shut or opened – got quite irritable. As contractions got stronger I started to roar through them. The noise just started coming out , a real loud shouting roar. Then I didn’t want Benjy touching me anymore & was snapping at My Mum & Benjy ‘Don’t touch me!’ ‘Don’t look at me!’ ‘Don’t talk to me!’ Benjy said he gave me some Sepia remedy but I can’t remember it.

Then it was all really painful and full on – I was kneeling on the couch holding the back of it. I was loving the couch earlier; now I was clutching onto it for dear life. I decided it would be good to get back in the bath cos that really helped the pain. By this time we’d rung the midwife & found that there were no dart midwives working so they were sending someone else. I was so glad Lara & Mum were there. Just before I got in the bath I got a bit violent & hit the couch a few times – luckily that didn’t last long!

Mum reminded me to breathe which really helped with the now powerful contractions, big long breaths & sighs & little pants, like blowing out candles.

I managed to get in the bath between contractions, Lara was getting me to drink more tea ( Feverfew blue cohash & limeflowers) Anyway wasn’t much space between contractions & I was writhing round like a spasmodic fish shouting  ‘I can’t do this ! I can’t take it!’ at this point I probably would’ve taken pain relief if any had been available- but in retropsect I’m glad I didn’t/couldn’t. I know  now that when I was in the bath was my ‘transition’ ; the last really powerful contractions leading into the pushing phase.

I heard the midwife arrive while I was in the bath & she & Lara shouted & hugged each other ( Jan was the same midwife who delivered Lara’s baby Blue seven years ago on windmill down farm- mad coincidence) Anyway I was still in the bath & was feeling like I needed a really big poo. The midwife examined me & said I was 10 cm dilated & the poo urge was actually the urge to start pushing the baby out! We realised that I couldn’t have the baby in the bath cos there was clary sage essential oils in it. Also Jan couldn’t give me gas & air cos it was too near the burner & it would explode! So I had to get out of the bath which was a major effort!

I got back on the couch & knelt up & started pushing. I was so tired now. I had olive Bach flower remedy & Arnica. I was pushing hard but I felt like I was at the end of a marathon & I really wanted to drop out of the race, I kept shouting  that I couldn’t do it ( wish I’d been a bit more positive at this point) Mum & Lara & midwives & Benjy were all encouraging me & cheering me on & mum was putting wet flannels on my forehead. I felt like I was having a humungous poo & every time it nearly came out I couldn’t quite finish it & sucked it back up so I could have a rest before the next round of pushing. It felt like I could never stretch enough to get it put. The midwife warmed up a flannel and put it on me and rubbed my clitoris, normally I wouldn’t want anyone to do this but by now I hardly noticed except that it helped quite a lot! A few more pushes & they were all saying that they could see the head – I wanted to get it out now & I gathered all my strength just pushing & pushing as hard as I could! I was actually only pushing about 50 minutes but by this end bit I just thought – got to do it now then this all will be over. I really wanted it to be over & I knew that once the head was out the body would be easy.

I did it then the body came out ( it felt such a strange shape!) next minute I could see my baby & I’ll never forget! He had the darkest sparkiest eyes just twinkling & looking coy! Cheeky like – are you the mummy who’s going to love me & feed me & I just wanted to cuddle him & put him to my breast. My little man. I would do anything for him. It was love at first sight – I’ll never forget his face looking at me. He knew I was his mummy ! My gorgeous baby! I got the placenta out very soon after & with no trouble. I’d read it was good to put it in your mouth so to Benjys amusement, I the vegetarian had gone really primal & with the midwives help I had a little gorge on the raw placenta ending up with blood all round my mouth! The next day Lara cooked the placenta & I ate some more _ reckon it did me good & helped with my recovery – after all its full of goodness & nutrients! And it’s a free piece of meat with no death sacrifice! Some people were a bit repulsed but who cares !

Me & Benjy both went mushy & totally fell in love with our boy. On that first night, Friday we didn’t sleep but just lay awake looking at him & loving him. All I want to do is be his Mum I’d do anything for him. Nothing else seems to matter i’m so happy!

Forgot to say how beautiful the snowdrops were, flowering all over the farm – little white teardrops, so fragile but yet so robust, standing up to the cold winter – spring elements just like a baby!

Labour – The Giving of Birth (A Naughty Fairy’s Perspective)

Written by FairyDoula. Posted in Birthing Stories

Yup! It’s not a walk in the park! It’s not Armageddon either! The most natural thing for your body to do! What you were made for! So how do you do it? How do you fall off a cliff? Relax, let it happen, hope for the best! Sometimes there is a mucousy discharge 1-3 days before (a show!) sometimes not!

The bag around the baby (waters) sometimes breaks (oops! I’ve wee’d meeself!) first, before contractions (like big period pains) start, sometimes they break later!! Or you break them yourself (bag can be broken with clean fingers if the cervix is opened 8cm or more!)

The contractions, rushes, pains, start off like period pains, pretty irregular not too strong pretty long periods in between. You notice them around the base of your belly & your back. If you’ve got a high pain threshold you’ll be able to sit about, drink helpful herb teas (Agnus Castus, Sage etc.) make sure everything is ready, comfy warm! Practice working with the rushes & your breath so it starts to widen your cervix (visualise opening flowers, golden pulsating donuts! etc. use your imagination!)

When the cervix gets to half way (5cm), the contractions, rushes become closer together, about every 3 -5 minutes, & longer! You can feel your muscles around your baby hardening as the rushes arrive, peak & dissolve! Massage, warm baths, walking around, deep breathing, Blue Cohash teas or tinctures, dancing, fire swinging, chocs wiv a drop of lavender in them, lovely music, all help you work with the rhythm of your body to widen your cervix & move the baby into position between your bum bone & pelvis. Lovely!

O.K. this is the home straight! feel like you need a big poo? Brain convincing you that you can’t do this? Feel the need to have all the drugs right now? Guess what? The babe is nearly here you’ve done all the pre- moves! Now all you have to do is push your baby out!! YES YOU CAN!! The pains come in waves, act like a surfer when the rushes come, see it feel it ride with it! Push as hard as you can, then relax into the hot fluffy respite! It may only be 10 seconds but appreciate it!

Get into your most comfy position, squatting , kneeling, hanging round your partners neck, hanging from a rope ( connection to fathers genitals optional!) leaning on a tree, there are many ways , but make sure you let gravity help you these last few steps!

You’ll feel like your baby’s coming out of your bum but really its only passing by, stroking downwards on your back could be helpful to remind you where the babe is going! Push again & then as you push feel Chinese burns on your bits like nothing on earth, beautiful and terrible instantaneously ( the baby’s head has reached the exit hole) now a time for breathing & resting, possibly warm flannels on your fanny, clitoris to bum will ease the whole story!

Possibly a few pushes where you feel that he’s going back in! Believe that each rush your baby is 1cm closer to being born & it will be so!! Then a big push, like all of you is focussed on one huge push to poo out your own bottom hole (I know! Gross eh?!) Then relax! The baby’s out, (all babies look a bit purple or blue when they first get out cos it takes a while for the red blood to start circulating round!! Lots of rubbing & cuddles will soon have her looking pink & gorgeous! ) put it on your skin, feel warm & together with your baby, maybe baby’ll feed maybe not! Smell that smell! Meet those eyes! Feel like a super hero ‘cos you are! Then about 10 mins later, another contraction, push! Concentrating, then out comes the placenta, joined to the baby by the umbilical cord. When the cord stops pulsing with blood, clamp it twice & cut in between the two clamps! That’s it! Baby & mother all fit & healthy! Nice one!

That’s it! All above time limits vary to fit women, as all are different! Naturally birthing your baby is good strong & clever! It is the action that enables you to trust you mother instinct over your logical brain recreating you as a mother!

Be brave & strong, confidant & hard working & all will be well! Lots of love & luck!

LARAxxxxxxx

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