Written by FairyDoula. Posted in Lara's blog

That’s the basis of it all. ‘Just’ breathing! As I put this ‘just breathing’ into practice it has become very clear to me that I hold my breath ALOT!
Ok so I’ve never learnt to breathe properly! I’m 46 and now my Mind is finally paying attention to my primary physical function that supports my life! This discovery is more than a little surprising to my Mind, it is however the truth my Soul has been communicating to my Body for my whole physical life!
At this stage Mind does a bit of negative thinking about how stupid slow and ridiculous I am , then I remember that my only real experience is Now and I am in charge of my thoughts and that I Awesome Being of Creation that I am, can create my reality .
So I breathe
Feet flat on ground, back straight, hands resting on thighs.
I recall the words of awesome Cunt Goddess Laura-Doe Harris ( The look her up she
I s
Accept the breath through your nose ,into your lungs , allow the breath to fill you completely.
Release your breath through your mouth let it all go , empty yourself ,
Then allow yourself to be filled again, from your Base, Pelvis, to belly to lungs , filled.
Then release your breath allowing it to carry away any tight negative stress and pains.
This is my recalling of her words not a verbatim account!
The memory of it does me good !
When it’s all getting too much
I remember,
I stop thinking and I breathe.
I’ve not found it particularly easy! My Mind runs away with itself , faster and faster and then sometimes I realise that I’m holding my breath …. then I stop and start again …. it’s like when I was teaching my toddling sons the small life stuff , socks, shoes ,teeth , feet etc , it took loads of attempts and I had to keep loving them and assisting them that they could do it themselves… so know I’m using some of my 20 years worth of Mum skills on myself!
Patiently I focus on my breathing and I also tap my sternum and say my thing( a version of Emotional freedom Technique EFT)
Even though ..(today) I feel scared and upset.
I still truly and deeply,
Love , Honour, Cherish and Respect myself.
All parts of myself
Including my scared and upset feelings
And I ask for help in healing
And I give thanks that it is happening.

I breathe some more and I realise that I’m not shaking anymore, my hearts beating normal and I am breathing, easily deeply and consciously!
Accepting that I am perfect and that bits of my brain could also function in a gentler kinder way to myself is more than a little confusing and challenging for me ! However I’m going for it anyway and moving a lot of old held stuff , allowing space for me to learn some new skills that I’ve missed out on so far! Like breathing!
In the last 4 years since my Stillbirth experience with my Son Angel Benjammin Love I’ve met a lot of people who have had some really traumatic Birth experiences, before that I mostly met people who had had really traumatic relationship or sexual experiences. It seems many of us have a heavy ride in life and all we can do is ride the wave and get skilled at consciously focussing our minds on what brings us the most Joy and the most Love , coz for me anyway I just can’t be bothered anymore just swimming around in the same old shit!
So here I am writing up anything I find that I can offer up to anyone searching to find their inner Love, joy and peace cos I reckon it’s worth a go!!!!
If it’s helpful I’d love to read yer comments! I do LOVE YOU ALL! Xxxlovelaraxxx

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